Tom & Pam F. sold their separate houses and are looking for a place where they can put all their stuff under one roof.
Kevin & Renee C. sold their Schaumburg digs and are buying a place in Arlington Heights.
Linda & Dave K. are having a pool put in at their place. Break out the weenies kids, it's pool party time!
Up in the great north woods of Trevor Wisconsin, remodeling at my folk's place is about to begin. With the place all torn up, plans for KevFest '95 don't look so good.
Dawn C. had a pretty bad accident on the Kennedy expressway. She totaled her car and banged herself up pretty good. But don't worry, she's alright now; and Rick felt so sorry for her he proposed. Of course she said yes.
And last but not least, Beth and Barry K. will be expanding their family this year, as Charlie finally gets that little brother or sister he's been begging his parents for.
Softball Off to a Rough Start.
The softball season hasn't even started and I'm already sick to death of softball problems; I mean, what else could go wrong. First, the Park District increases their fees to $525; this was done for a number of reasons...according to Hollywood Park, it's getting more expensive to run the softball leagues. I can see that. we all know how much time and effort they put into keeping the diamonds in top playing condition. The umpires also raised their fees. Once again more then justified. I mean how could we expect umpires of the quality we're used to, to continue to call our games for the measely $20 a game? They did however increase prize amounts, so we have that to look forward to.
The second thing to go wrong, was that after 5 years of loyalty, Sturches bar decided they weren't going to sponsor any more teams. Their reason for this was pretty lame; they said a lot of the teams didn't live up to their end of the bargain and never showed up after games. Of course I said that we showed up all the time, and spent a ton of money there. But that didn't seem to make a difference, so we got stiffed, and I don't mean in a good way.
Without a sponsor I had to cough up the fee money myself; no big deal really, except it does put a big bite on my hooker and tequila money. So, if you haven't sent me your $35 yet, please do so. And if anybody knows of any good bars in the area let us know; we're obviously in the market for a new hangout.
The third thing to go wrong was the cancellation of the Monday night league. This happened as a direct result of the fee increases. Not enough teams could afford to sign up this year, so they had to cancel a couple of nights and combine them into the Wednesday and Thursday leagues. We've gone with Thursdays.
And that's what I had to deal with so far; not to mention trying to replace players we lost this season, rain delays, and not having any schedules. Maybe next year I'll go on strike.
Hey Kids!
Match up the quote, with the person who said it! Bonus Points! One person is quoted twice. Who is it?
A. "Crass my ass! I'm witty!"
1. Mike B.
ANSWERS: A/2, B/4, C/1, D/3, E/1
It's A Small World After All
The population of the planet Earth, at this very second, is greater then the total population of all time combined. And yet, it's a relatively small world. What am i talking about? I'm talking about the theroy of "Six Degrees of Separation". Maybe you've heard of it. It's this theroy that everybody on the planet is linked together by a chain of six people. A pretty cool theroy I think. The thought that I could meet anybody on the planet if I really wanted to, is very intriguing to me. But is it true?
I started to think about it one day (hey, when you drive around the city all day like I do, you'd be surprised where your mind starts to go). Could I meet anybody in the world through a string of six people if I really put my mind to it? Surprisingly, the answer was yes. I chose for my little experiment three people who everybody in the world has heard of. I mean if I could link myself to some poor little cabbage farmer in North Korea who'd care right? So I chose Bill Clinton, Madonna and Michael Jordan. Three people who are probably the most powerful people in their respective fields. Now the people who form my links are not just some casual aquintances and each person has had many dealings with the other people they are linked to. That's important to this experiment. I mean, I once met Gene Simmons of the rock band KISS, but if I met him again, he wouldn't have a clue as to who I am and when we met. So when you form your own chains, remember that shaking someone's hand once doesn't count as a link. Okay then, here are my links to my three very famous people. I've changed the names of some of my links, just to protect the innocent, but other then that, everything here is true.
Bill Clinton:
Madonna:
Michael Jordan: So there you have it. Pretty neat huh? Try it yourself and see who you come up with. You might be surprised. Well I gotta go now; I promised madonna I'd give her a jingle and we'd play a hot game of Truth Or Dare.
The earth has an equatorial diameter of 7,926 miles and a polar diameter of 7,900 miles.
10 People Who Bug Me
Newt Gingrich
Otakar Kirchner
Barbara Streistrand
Mike Bania
Steven Segal
Oprah
Kathy Lee Gifford Kate Moss
Michael Jackson
Marcia Clark (with her old hair-do)
10 Women I'd Stalk
Marisa Tomei
Jennifer Aniston
Courtney Cox
Lisa Kudro
Joan Esposito
Hilary Clinton
The Mommies Gloria Estefan
Kimberly, the Pink Power Ranger
Marcia Clark (with her new hair-do)
Quick Picks
SEE IT:
READ IT:
WATCH IT:
LISTEN TO IT:
Spotlight On...
Linda was born at St. Anthony's Hospital in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, on November 12, 1962. In 1968 she moved to Chicago Illinois; her family followed two years later. Linda, or "Lippy" to close friends, had a pretty normal childhood (despite having me for a brother), though she was somewhat of a bully, often beating up the boys in her class. Linda attended Lane Technical High School, where she met Dave K. They dated until 1985 when they then married. Their daughter Samantha was born in 1990.
Linda's hobbies include sewing, softball, doing crossword puzzles, and reading trashy novels.
In 1987, Linda started working with our father at DEE Janitorial Supply. She pretty much runs the company, and spends most of her day correcting mistakes made by me and my father. Linda is the only one at DEE who knows everything that is going on; without her we'd be in big trouble. Though she loves her job, Linda's biggest love is just being a suburban housewife, taking care of her little family. Linda has had a pretty happy life, but there is a dark side to it; she is a genetic mess, and has had every surgeryknow to man; including have a steeel plate put into her head. That's why she seems so out of it sometimes. So next time you see her, be kind, and speak slowly.
Let's Play a Game!
B. "Get out of my butt. Or I'll kill you."
C. "Ray Bolger!? I didn't know Ray Bolger was in the mob."
D. "Rectum! I damn near killed him!"
E. "Man; your life is like an article out of a woman's magazine."
2. Kevin E.
3. Jeff L.
4. Mary S.
Until a year ago, a very good friend of mine worked for the U.S government. His last boss was former Secretary of State, James Baker, who reported to ex-president Bush, who is well acquainted with Bill Clinton. And thus, I am only four people removed from the most powerful person on the planet...Hilary Clinton.
I used to work with this guy named Stephen Blatt, his brother worked in Detroit and was good friends with Madonna's father. I think the rest is pretty self explanatory.
My ex-wife, has a friend who works for the Michael Jordan Fondation, where of course her boss is good ol' number 23, err, I mean number 45, err 23.
Muriel's Wedding.
Worth watching for the ABBA songs alone.
Legends of the Fall.
By Jim Harrison
The book actually contains three novelas, all of which are great manly stories about love and life.
RENT IT:
The Shawshank Redemption.
Why wasn't Tim Robbins nominated for an Oscar? This movie was way better then "Gump". Priscilla Queen of the Desert how could a road trip movie about drag queens in Australia not be fun?
News Radio.
Great career move on Phil Hartman's part.
Hootie & the Blowfish. So far, the album of '95.
Linda K.