Click here for the Baseball portion (& some movie trivia that wouldn't fit here) of this special issue. BASEBALL
As the head of marketing for DEE Janitorial Supply, it's my job to keep my eyes open for current trends and to try to predict which direction these trends are headed.
For the past decade I have been watching the world and looking out for the popular fads that have been sweeping the nation. I have spotted and often participated in many of these fads, and have come to this conclusion; the one dominant theme of the last ten years has been "retro". Anything that was cool, in say, the 50's or 60's is cool once again.
One of the biggest of these retro trends this past decade was playing pool. Pool halls and playing pool hit a big upswing starting in the late 80's and is still going strong today. People everywhere just love to gather in a smoky pool hall and smack some balls around.
And speaking of smoky pool halls; another big fad...cigars.
Every frat boy across the nation suddenly had to have
a stoogie in his mouth, this of course was a natural
offshoot of the pool hall, I mean what looks cooler than
a cigar in your gob when you're shooting a game of
stick?
Of course to get to the pool hall you needed to ride
your motorcycle; preferably your Harley. And of
course if you have a motorcycle you needed...a
tattoo!
Tattoos were so popular that even my mother got one.
It's a little rose on her butt and every Christmas she
gets loaded and shows it to our entire family.
Of course if you participated in any one of these fads,
it meant one thing...that you were bad. You were a
"bad-boy" and bad-boy was good again.
But you had to be swinging 50's, 60's style bad-boy.
"Rat-pack" bad-boy.
Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack Image a huge
comeback in the late 90's. And why not? Twenty and
thirty-something males had no cool guys from their own
generation to look up to. Franky and crew were cool,
they worked hard and played hard. They had chicks like
Marilynn, Ava, Shirley and Angie. They hung with the
mob and Presidents, smoked cigars, drank Martinis and
just had a "ring a ding-ding" good time and they had an
aura of danger about them.
And that's when we get to the root reason for all of
these fads...to be dangerous.
Or to at least to give an illusion of danger. Because in
reality, you're stuck in some cubicle everyday, working
14 hours for the man, instead of having the fun that
you really want. That's why all these things were
popular...pool, cigars, bikes, martinis, the mob,
tattoos...they all have that element of danger to them,
but "safe" danger, they are all "bad" behavior, not so
bad as to be illegal or cause harm to other people. As
long as the "dangerous" behavior is kept respectable
why not engage in it and let off a little steam, have
some fun, who's it hurting?
Now taking in mind this trend towards bad, dangerous
behavior, coupled with making retro things popular
again, here is my prediction of the next big thing for
2001. Are you ready? The next big thing is...
Stilts!
Yes, stilts. They are retro, and they are dangerous.
Soon every 20-35 year old male in America will be
walking around on stilts. Run out and buy a pair today
because mark my words, they are going to be hot.
But then again, I could be wrong.
Important Stuff About
Friends & Lovers
In a recent issue of "Chicago"
magazine our good friend Dr. Jeff L. was listed as one
of the best infectious disease
specialists in the city. And it's true; that time Mikey and I came back from Tiajuana and it burned when we peed; Jeff cleared that right up.
Does anybody know if Brad owns a handgun?
Possession or urine poisoning? You decide.
Bronco Buddy
I have always enjoyed movies about, what was
purported to be, the "Old West". It does not matter
what your gender is, adventure is the nectar of the
young and the bold- Thus, we have our romance with
western films.
Some of my fondest memories as a child involved going
to the movie with another all-time western
fan-Grandma Ervin. She and I would either walk or
take the street car, rain or snow, to any one of a
number of theaters (before the price change and
preferably on dish night) in the city.
It is impossible to list the greatest or best "oaters" when
one has seen so many. My list does not include any
films made by Errol Flynn, Randolph Scott or Joel
McCrea. They made westerns that were the best of
their time such as Dodge City, Virginia City, Union
Pacific, and Ride the High Country.
We must not forget James Stewart in The Far Country,
Winchester 73, and Broken Spur.
Italian Westerns were terrible, nothing but grunts and
dirty teeth. When I was a child, I loved all the "B"
westerns. I went into the military service in 1948 and,
by the time of my discharge, "B" movie oaters had
faded from the scene. To this day, in my minds eye, I
keep the memory of Tom Mix, Buck Jones, Tim
McCoy, Ken Maynard, Hoot Gibson, John Wayne
(as one of the three "Mesquiteers," ) Bob Steele, Wild
Bill Elliott and Charles Starrett a/k/a the Durango Kid
riding across the silver screen.
My list of the top ten westerns of all time would
include the following:
Jeremiah Johnson (my all-time favorite)
The Ox-Bow Incident (a close second)
Shane (a real western classics written by an Englishman
who had never been to the USA)
The Magnificent Seven (stellar cast, best theme music
of any western including High Noon)
Red River (classic portrayal of life on a cattle drive)
Stagecoach (beautiful western-stellar cast-badly done in
the remake-probably belongs higher on my list)
My Darling Clementine (absolute best version of the
Wyatt Earp saga)
The Searchers (finding the daughter at the end was
quite emotional for a western)
High Noon (starring Gary Cooper-Academy Award
for theme song)
The Outlaw Josey Wales (my choice as Clint
Eastwood's best though any Eastwood western could
make this list)
Nothing in filmdom ever entertained like the good guys
versus the bad guy westerns. I salute all the western
heroes of yesterday, today and tomorrow. They have
filled my life, and continue to do so, with untold hours
of pleasure. I could go on for at least another five
pages, but I don't want to take the chance of you losing
losing your readership.
So long kemo sabe, your unc.
P.S. Don't forget Trigger, Champion, Tarzan, Silver,
and the other equestrian stars.
P.S.S. For any western that someone thinks belongs on
this list...it probably does.
Action figures are really big right now. Any movie or
t.v. show that comes out usually has action figures that
go with it.
The Matrix, Austin Powers, Buffy the Vampire
Slayer, these are some of the more logical action
figures that are out there. Some of the weirder action
figures I've seen...characters from Saturday Night Live
such as Gilda Radner as Roseanne
"Roseannadanna", John Belushi's "Samuari", and
the "Goat Boy". But probably the strangest action
figure I've seen is the Janis Joplin action figure.
O.k. moms, run right out and buy your daughter the
latest role model...a hopped up blues singer who ends up
killing herself on an o.d of heroin. Where's G.I. Joe when
you need him?
I can't wait for the Robert Downey Jr. action figure.
This was especially impressive since all but 4 of his lines were in Italian.
And I Quote
Science
Kal's Pals Trivia
Dave K.
Who the Hell are You!?
Name:
Birthday:
Birthplace:
Occupation:
Current Home:
Working On:
Worst Job Experience:
The Last Good Movie I Saw:
The Book I've Been Reading:
Favorite Pig Out Food:
Nickname:
Favorite Performer:
Prized Possession:
People always think I'm:
I'd give anything to meet:
Favorite Annual Event:
A really great evening to me is:
My Fantasy Is:
The One Thing I Can't Stand is:
If I Could Change One Thing About Myself:
I'm Really Good At:
My Most Irrational Act:
If I've Learned One Thing In Life It's:
Major accomplishment:
Three words that best describe me:
The Kevin Connection:
Technically, she has known me longer than anybody else
on this planet.
9 months longer.
Nice job with the gestation mom.
Favorite Mom Moment:
As a little boy my mom used to make "picnics" for me
all the time. She would make me little cheese
sandwiches and spread a blanket out in our living room
and let me eat my lunch on the floor. I used to love that
and I still do it today, except now it's with a bottle of
whiskey and it's more like passing out on the floor, but
it's kind of the same thing.
At about this same time I was watching a "Marx
Brothers" movie with my mom, I asked her why the
curly haired one (Harpo) didn't talk and she told me that
"when he was a little boy he used to swear a lot so God
took away his voice". Nice try mom.
She was right about one thing though; one time when
she caught me smearing gobs of "Dippity Do" into my
hair she told me that if I did that again I'd go bald.
DOH!
Over the years I have done many things to contribute
to the gray hair of my mother; I set her on fire once
doing a magic trick, I almost gave her a heart attack
when I was arrested for assault when I was 12, not to
mention my foul language, drinking, and general
misconduct & bad behaviour in public. She hasn't
disowned me yet.
I guess I'll just have to try harder.
The election of George W. Bush as President has reinforced my belief in one of the most basic concepts of the America. The concept that anybody, and I mean anybody, can become President of The United States. If this barely literate, hee-haw hillbilly, puppet of big oil can do it, then anyone can. I once had a one eyed, one armed, retarded monkey named "Booboo" as a pet. All day long Booboo would pick his ass and then sniff his finger. That's all he ever did. Pick and sniff. Pick and sniff. All day long. He was just too stupid to do anything else.
For the next 4 years you're going to wish Booboo was sitting in the Oval Office.
Brad L. is now working for DEE Janitorial. We shall now see the true measure of Brad's patience.
After that last snow storm my 5 year old niece Allyson ate yellow snow.
Later that week her family was sitting around watching television when
Allyson came downstairs from her bedroom, with her underwear on her head.
She then proceeded to run around the room in circles, repeating the word "evil" over and over again while she ran. Finally, too tired to continue, she fell down and stopped her demonic display. Thank God.
My other niece, Samantha, (to the right) is learning to play the flute.
I'll never be able to watch "American Pie" again.
Cheri!
Every once in awhile I figure that people get sick of
reading stuff I write, so I recruit some poor sap and
make them write about something that they really
love. Well next to my Aunt Barbara, there is nothing in
this world that my Uncle Buddy loves more than a good
western. So without further adieu...here's Bud's fave
westerns. EEHA!
Action Figures?
Junk Drawer
Robert DeNiro won the Best Actor Oscar in 1972 for his performance as the young Vito Corleone in the movie "The Godfather Part Two".
(more or less)
In 1942, movie star Hedy ("That's Headly!") Lamarr teamed up with composer George Antheil to patent a radio-controlled torpedo system. Their system is still used today extensively in military communications. 
Which Kal's pal unearthed the remains of the original Ferris Wheel
from the 1893 Columbian exposition in Chicago?
Giddy up Rosie!
Rose Francis E.
September 20, 1958.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
President of DEE Janitorial Supply.
"When you think clean...think DEE".
Chicago.
How to use the computer.
Working in a candy factory.
"What Women Want".
"The Whoopi Goldberg Book".
Leon's frozen custard. It's the best.
Ro.
Mom & Linda, mom and Ally (Linda's daughter)
Barbara Streisand.
A coral tie pin that my father gave me.
Nice.
Barbara Streisand.
Editors note: Oh mom, say it ain't so.
Mom & pop now & then.
Dennis invites our Milwaukee friends over for a
cookout at our Wisconsin house.
Going to my nephew Anthony's restaurant in Fox Point
(he's a great cook).
Buying a quick pick ticket for one dollar and winning the
big lottery.
People who say they're going to do something and then never do it.
Nothing.
Baking and cooking.
Starting DEE Janitorial in our basement.
Things don't come easy, you have to work hard if you want something.
Having two beautiful children.
Editors Note: Who the hell would they be?
Proofreaders Note: Speak for yourself.
Hobbies:
Sewing and gardening.
A good grandmother.
Mom and Sammy
Well, Rose is my mother and has known me all of my life. 
Mom & me.
I have tons of favorite mom moments but I'll just hit a
few here...
And in closing...